In 2024, I took a sabbatical from ministry for the full year.
I was coming off of the most personally intense season of ministry I had ever experienced. My husband and I had found ourselves at the center of leading our church through heartbreak. It was weirdly a good season of intense ministry as I saw the Lord carry me through every difficult conversation every day. The Lord daily strengthened me to carry immense grief and love for the people in my Church as I walked alongside them and helped them navigate their grief and confusion.
While I know I was exactly where I was supposed to be and doing exactly what I was called to do, I quickly learned that reward and rest are very different things.
The elongated high stress was affecting my body. After a trip to the ER and subsequent surgery, I knew if I didn’t take a hard stop, my body was going to force a hard stop.
During my year of sabbatical, I had two goals:
Process my own grief
Figure out what God had intended for the pace of our lives
I saw too many Church leaders fall victim to over-sacrificing themselves to the point of detrimental consequences for them, their families, their churches, and their communities. I wanted to ask God what He had in mind for us, because clearly we weren’t getting it.
I knew that in Christ, our striving ceases (Psalm 46:10 NASB), but I also knew that we are to “work diligently as unto the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). I knew that rest is in His plan, but what is this all supposed to look like?
I took a walk almost everyday that year, asking the Father what His plan for our pace of life is.
I observed as I watched God sustain nature. Cranes fished in the bayou by my house. Butterflies fluttered from flower to flower. Seeds blew in the wind and planted themselves in new patches of dirt. It all worked, but none of it was anxious. Every animal fed. Every animal in a home. There is daily work, but outside of a predator/prey situation, there is no anxious toil! AND there is daily rest.
One thing became obviously clear:
God is not rushed.
Maybe I’d been interpreting Colossians 3:23 wrong. I had always interpreted that working for the Lord meant pushing as hard as I can through a day. You know, trying and doing my best at all times.
Did you know that the word for working “heartily” is psychḗ or “breath of life”? Maybe “working heartily as unto the Lord” really means, being diligent, with all of my heart, soul, and mind, but in a life-giving, peaceful way. Maybe it’s knowing it’s okay to stop and rest, and slow down to connect with people. Maybe it means it’s okay to listen to our bodies in order to steward them well.
Maybe I’m to work and rest as if it’s already taken care of, as if God is the one transforming hearts and drawing people to Himself. As if it’s His “breath of life” that’s actually doing the work.
Confession: Too many times I get caught up in feeling like I’m lagging behind. Life or ministry or relationships or personal goals should look different and be achieved by now. I get lost in the hustle (read: anxious toil, Psalm 127:2). Like Martha, I get “distracted with much serving” (Luke 10:40), but thankfully, I can now recognize it and make the necessary changes. AND MY KIDS HAVE NOTICED!! Recently my daughter shared with me that she has seen a transformation in how I live my daily life, with more presence and peace, allowing her to feel that I am more accessible and available to her!